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Tara Lazar did a roundup of lessons learned (without the quoted lines) on Jacket Flap.com, which you can read at the entry called Query Fail: How Not to Land an Agent.
Literary agent Janet Reid brought up the prospect of a parallel "Agent Fail" in her blog column The agent bubble (incidentally, she says that one of the few places agents get to hear what writers think is Absolute Write), and the Book Ends Literary Agency hosted a forum for writers: Agentfail Right Here.
Slushpile Hell (Tumblr, One grumpy literary agent and a sea of query fails) The Complete Nobodys Guide to Query Letters (Lynn Flewelling, Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America) Successful Query Letters for Agents (Jason Boog, Media Bistro, with 23 agent query letters that actually worked, 12-18-12) How to Write a Query Letter (free 15-part guide on Mark Malatesta's website) See also the Query Letter Blog (a series about agent queries that worked).
Offer your query for revision, study the revisions offered to others, scroll down the left column toward the bottom and studies revisions on "Queries that got to yes." Here's a good example (#224).
Youll just alienate your chances of being taken seriously as a professional writer. Successful Queries: Agent Jenny Bent and "Oh My Gods" (Chuck Sambuchino, Writer's Digest, 10/4/11) Successful Queries (on this page are links to many in a series of query letters that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents).
A query letter is meant to elicit an invitation to send sample chapters or even the whole manuscript to the agent. The Complete Guide to Query Letters (Jane Friedman, 9-7-16) 9 tips for the effective query letter (agent Andy Ross, 11-28-10) Item 5: "Answer the key questions: What? How to Write a Successful Query (Moira Allen, Writing-World.com, on query letters for magazine articles) Writing a Query Letter (romance writer Charlotte Dillon's excellent page of tips and links to more advice about query letters, and samples of winning query letters for romance and erotic novels 9 Frequently Asked Questions about Query Letters (Chuck Sambuchino, Writer Unboxed, 9-24-12) Queries and Synopses and Proposals (Writer's Digest) Anatomy of a winning query (agent Rachelle Gardner, 4-28-09) My Tweets from Query Day (Rachelle Gardner) Agent Colleen Lindsay on some reasons she rejects queries The biggest mistake writers make when querying literary agents (jm tohline), followed by The best query letters do...what?
If you live elsewhere, contact your local author society to see if they are doing something similar, or suggest that they do.