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He texted me a couple times asking how I am, but I didn't reply. It is OK to send him a message to say 'happy birthday'?
And you can’t always tell who those are going to come from!
You might think it would be more likely with the dudes whose initial messages are already a little sketchy, but it’s not uncommon to also receive abusive responses to rejection from the guy whose first message was polite, unassuming and/or charming.
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I don't care if he got you a huge present last year and you "feel the need to return the gesture." I don't care if you say "but we just broke up a couple days ago," or that "I always do that kind of thing for people I care about, and I still care about him." And I definitely don't care if you "just think it would be kind of mean not to." Don't do it.